When we were preparing to adopt I read all kinds of posts around each mothers day. Blogs about being so happy to have the gift of motherhood and blogs about how to celebrate the adopted child's first family. The one that had the most impact for me was a blog written by an adoptive mother to her children's birth mother.
Our adoption with Jack is a closed adoption. So we have no contact with his first mommy. There is not a day go by that I don't think about her and the amazing love she showed our Jack. Everytime I tell him I love him I am telling him for her too. Every kiss is a kiss from her too. Every night when I cuddle up to my little snuggle bug I cuddle him for her too. So here's my letter to Jack's first mother, "L".
Dear L,
You've never met me, or even seen my face. However we share in a miracle that is so amazing and perfect. When you chose to place your baby boy in an adoptive home you made the hardest decision you ever could! You are far braver than I ever could be. Everyday when I look at our son I see your courage and strength. His eyes reflect your love, his smiles reflect the happiness you gave him, he is above average on every milestone and I know he got that determination from you.
This holiday was so very hard for me for so many years. The pain of empty arms is a deep one. I know now that your gift to me has resulted in you feeling this now. I want you to know that Jack will always know you how deep you love him. There are no words that can make this day hurt any less for you and I know that.
The only thing I can do on this day is thank you. Not just a "hey, thanks" but a sincere thank you. You gave Jack life, you wanted and cherished him, you loved him. Now we can teach him how to live his life, we want and cherish him, and because of your love for him our family is fuller. You will be forever a part of our family even though we have never met you or even seen your face.
From one mother to another, thank you from the depths of my heart for loving our son enough to give him life and thank you for making me a mother. Those words just don't seem enough. I don't think words can really say what I want to say. The gratitude is in the everyday, it's in the boo boos I kiss, in the way he explodes into grins and giggles when his daddy comes home from work, it's in the middle of the night when he wakes us up giggling. My thanks for you grows along with our boy.
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| He is so handsome! |
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| and cheesy |
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| and a heartbreaker! |
