Two words: WEIGHT GAIN.
I know i'm not alone. I've seen it time and again. Maybe it starts while you're working on your homestudy because paperwork stresses you out. You've been matched, GREAT, STRESS. You've brought home this beautiful child, and you're exhausted and hungry ALL THE TIME. However and whenever it starts, it almost always starts. My husband and I have a running joke about the "adoptive mom uniform" it's stretchy skinny jeans, baggy T or sweater, infinty scarf, and knee high boots. Sometimes the skinny jeans are swapped for a maxi skirt or dress. Loose. Comfortable. Hides the extra 10 pounds I've packed on clothing.
What do I do about it? Well, when you find out let me know. What I've found that helps me is accountability. Having someone I can message or call in the middle of the night when the thought of my son being in an orphanage on the other side of the world keeps me up and the ice cream is calling my name. You can find other adopting families in your area and start a walking group. Two birds with one stone, community AND exercise! I've been doing a pushup every time I think of our son. I'm up to 3 in row, WOOHOO! Find some stress relief somewhere and somehow. Try essential oils, there are many kinds out there but I only suggest Young Living for many reasons! Find a hobby for the wait. I know paperwork feels like a hobby but it's not healthy to live and breathe mushed up trees with ink on them. I've found hiking to be INCREDIBLY relaxing and it's something I can do with my son just the two of us before adding his brother to the mix.
"I have this friend I know she's gaining weight and I think it's because of their adoption, what do I do?" Invite her over for coffee. Give her a chance to vent about all the stress. Be a friend. The adoption process can feel isolating and lonely, be there so it doesn't feel so. Suggest a hobby you can do together. Invite her to a Zumba class or something, although, try not to insinuate she's getting a little love in her handles cause that's a can you don't want to open. Ask her if there is anything you can help with and then SUGGEST things like, bring a meal over, help with laundry, watch the kids for a while so she can Target by herself (yes Targeting is a thing), invite her out for a girls night, ask to come help her clean her house (Are you getting the cleaning hint I'm throwing out there?), or just say "I love you, I'm here and I can help you anyway I can".
So. You adopting mom friend. You are not alone in this exhausting journey. I love you even though I've never met you. You are strong and beautiful. Your love for your future child pours out of you like a river running madly wild. Rely on your people. Don't have people? Find some. You'll need them, trust me.
I know i'm not alone. I've seen it time and again. Maybe it starts while you're working on your homestudy because paperwork stresses you out. You've been matched, GREAT, STRESS. You've brought home this beautiful child, and you're exhausted and hungry ALL THE TIME. However and whenever it starts, it almost always starts. My husband and I have a running joke about the "adoptive mom uniform" it's stretchy skinny jeans, baggy T or sweater, infinty scarf, and knee high boots. Sometimes the skinny jeans are swapped for a maxi skirt or dress. Loose. Comfortable. Hides the extra 10 pounds I've packed on clothing.
What do I do about it? Well, when you find out let me know. What I've found that helps me is accountability. Having someone I can message or call in the middle of the night when the thought of my son being in an orphanage on the other side of the world keeps me up and the ice cream is calling my name. You can find other adopting families in your area and start a walking group. Two birds with one stone, community AND exercise! I've been doing a pushup every time I think of our son. I'm up to 3 in row, WOOHOO! Find some stress relief somewhere and somehow. Try essential oils, there are many kinds out there but I only suggest Young Living for many reasons! Find a hobby for the wait. I know paperwork feels like a hobby but it's not healthy to live and breathe mushed up trees with ink on them. I've found hiking to be INCREDIBLY relaxing and it's something I can do with my son just the two of us before adding his brother to the mix.
"I have this friend I know she's gaining weight and I think it's because of their adoption, what do I do?" Invite her over for coffee. Give her a chance to vent about all the stress. Be a friend. The adoption process can feel isolating and lonely, be there so it doesn't feel so. Suggest a hobby you can do together. Invite her to a Zumba class or something, although, try not to insinuate she's getting a little love in her handles cause that's a can you don't want to open. Ask her if there is anything you can help with and then SUGGEST things like, bring a meal over, help with laundry, watch the kids for a while so she can Target by herself (yes Targeting is a thing), invite her out for a girls night, ask to come help her clean her house (Are you getting the cleaning hint I'm throwing out there?), or just say "I love you, I'm here and I can help you anyway I can".
So. You adopting mom friend. You are not alone in this exhausting journey. I love you even though I've never met you. You are strong and beautiful. Your love for your future child pours out of you like a river running madly wild. Rely on your people. Don't have people? Find some. You'll need them, trust me.
