Pictures are worth a thousand...

When you are adopting a child internationally all you have to go on during the court process are pictures. You get to watch your child grow through the lens of a camera. Unfortunately we have not had even that. Our agency has only gotten us one picture. There are all kinds of excuses and reasons but the reality is that it is killing this mama's heart to not be able to see my Koraline grow up. I want so bad to see more than the one picture. In almost 10 months so much can change with a toddler. I wish I could just see one more picture.

There is a man that can make this happen. However he needs a large chunk of $ to travel from Kinshasa to southern DR Congo where our girl is. It's heart breaking to know we may not ever see her picture. We have to raise the funds to send the man to take pictures and love on our girl. 1 in 7 kids die before reaching age 5 in the DRC. There's a chance that we may never see her face if this exit permit suspension continues. Part of me wants to hop in a plane and go there myself. But I'd have to rob a bank or something to get the $ to do that.

So here I sit asking for prayer, support, anything. Know a missionary in the DRC? Have an extra $2500 sitting around? Have something you can sell that might help us get to our goal? We're having an auction the first week of August. Buy something from that to help us out!

I lay awake at night watching our son sleep dreaming about the day when I can watch him and his sister run around in the backyard, take them to all the cool places, go swimming in a creek... This mama just needs a picture.

Jack's Finalization Hearing on 5/23/2014, which he slept through...

Letter to "L" on Mother's Day

When we were preparing to adopt I read all kinds of posts around each mothers day. Blogs about being so happy to have the gift of motherhood and blogs about how to celebrate the adopted child's first family. The one that had the most impact for me was a blog written by an adoptive mother to her children's birth mother. 

Our adoption with Jack is a closed adoption. So we have no contact with his first mommy. There is not a day go by that I don't think about her and the amazing love she showed our Jack. Everytime I tell him I love him I am telling him for her too. Every kiss is a kiss from her too. Every night when I cuddle up to my little snuggle bug I cuddle him for her too. So here's my letter to Jack's first mother, "L". 

Dear L,

You've never met me, or even seen my face. However we share in a miracle that is so amazing and perfect. When you chose to place your baby boy in an adoptive home you made the hardest decision you ever could! You are far braver than I ever could be. Everyday when I look at our son I see your courage and strength. His eyes reflect your love, his smiles reflect the happiness you gave him, he is above average on every milestone and I know he got that determination from you. 

This holiday was so very hard for me for so many years. The pain of empty arms is a deep one. I know now that your gift to me has resulted in you feeling this now. I want you to know that Jack will always know you how deep you love him. There are no words that can make this day hurt any less for you and I know that. 

The only thing I can do on this day is thank you. Not just a "hey, thanks" but a sincere thank you. You gave Jack life, you wanted and cherished him, you loved him. Now we can teach him how to live his life, we want and cherish him, and because of your love for him our family is fuller. You will be forever a part of our family even though we have never met you or even seen your face. 

From one mother to another, thank you from the depths of my heart for loving our son enough to give him life and thank you for making me a mother. Those words just don't seem enough. I don't think words can really say what I want to say. The gratitude is in the everyday, it's in the boo boos I kiss, in the way he explodes into grins and giggles when his daddy comes home from work, it's in the middle of the night when he wakes us up giggling. My thanks for you grows along with our boy. 

He is so handsome!

and cheesy

and a heartbreaker!

Detour: part 2

It's so hard to find the time and mental ware-with-all to type out blog posts now! So here goes nothin!

We took our time coming home from Texas. Baby Jack is the most perfect road trip baby! We usually had to stop before he needed to! I was never more happy to see the Cincinnati skyline! With being in a car for two days straight we really needed a quiet day of bonding with our boy.

It was tough transitioning from road trip to normal everyday life. Jack was sleeping 5 hour blocks in Texas and then he got his schedules flipped from sleeping in the car all day for 2 days. Since then he hasn't quite figured out his sleep schedule again. So that's been tough! Good thing Jack's grandma comes everyday to hold him so I can get some stuff done! We had some incredible people bring us meals and just love on us!

Then my parents came to visit for 2 weeks!

The past 9 weeks have been a whirlwind of crazy times. Little Jack has grown so fast! He's doubled his birth weight already!

Now every time I hold Jack I can't stop thinking about how we'll not have this time with Kora. Our bonding with her will be much different. Instead of having people over to meet her right away we'll have to go into our cocoon for a while and bond as a family.

While I'm writing about Kora I should also add that because of our "detour" we need to start over again with fundraising for our girl. We believe God knows who our children are and where they will be born. He called us to adopt Kora and we will fight to bring her home. He called us to adopt Jack and He made it happen. He will make a way for Kora to come home, I am confident in that. I'll have more details about how you can help us with Kora's adoption (and the loan we took out for Jack) soon.

Well that's about all I have to say right now....

DETOUR!

When we first switched countries and agencies from Ethiopia we were researching all our options and I had contacted an agency about domestic adoption. I had completely forgot about them until December 28th when the social worker with Adoption Covenant emailed me about a birth mom that they only had one profile to show! We prayed about it and decided that we would send a profile. If we got chosen that meant we had found one of the children God has set aside for our family! Well, on January 3rd, 2014 we got "the call" that we had BEEN CHOSEN! Baby boy was due on January 23rd. We had just 20 days to prepare our home for a newborn! So we ran around like crazy people for 2 weeks prepping and planning. Then we got word that birth mom's due date was moved up to the 14th! The 14th passed, no baby. So they naturally induced her by scraping her membranes on January 20th.

We did some research and chose to drive down to Lubbock, TX (where baby was born) on January 18th. We stopped for the night in Purdy, MO with friends and then the next day made the trek to Lubbock. We waited, and waited, and waited. Then on January 23rd (the original due date) at 2:30 am his first mommy's water broke! Then we waited, and waited, and waited some more until we got a call at 12:28 pm CST that she was pushing! We were on the other side of town so we drove as fast as we could! His first mommy wanted us to be the first to see and hold little J so we got our own delivery room! We rushed in the hospital (forgetting our good camera). We sat down in labor and delivery room #8 and as soon as we sat down we heard the most beautiful sound in labor and delivery room #10, our son's first cry! It sent my heart through the top of my head! So very beautiful and long awaited! Then, the moment our world changed forever, the nurse ran in the room with a blue tinted baby boy! We got to hold his hand as they did all the measurements and tests. I got to wash all the ooey gooey gunk off of him and hold him skin to skin. When they placed him on my chest for the first time it all became real, I became a mother! In that moment all the world stopped and the only thing that mattered was this tiny, squirming human in my arms. John "Jack" Malcolm Hoos had made his debut!

Jack's first weigh in! He was born at 1:21 pm CST, weighed 6 lbs and was 18.5" long!

Kevin rolling Jack to the nursery for a blood test

Our sweet little Jack!

We wanted to breastfeed Jack and his first feed was using a supplemental nursing system. It was the most beautiful experience I have ever had. I'll be writing a post on that once I get some time.

We had to wait 48 hours for his first mommy to sign the papers to make Jack ours. We had our own hospital room and barely let Jack out of our sight! We then had to stay in Texas for 7-14 days for paperwork to clear us to cross state lines with our new handsome little man. We stayed with friends in Houston and enjoyed it so much! We didn't have to cook or clean or anything, just cuddle with our sweet boy. Had some yummy food and good company! My parents were able to fly to Texas and visit with us and meet Jack too! It was a great time to get to know our boy before we got thrown back into life back home!

In the car to Houston! #receiveexperiement

To Be Continued...

AUCTION TIME!!!

You can browse the auction here: Bring Kora Home Auction Facebook

If you do not have Facebook and see something you love you can contact me via email at elizabeth.g.hoos@gmail.com and I'll get your bid in.

We are trying to reach $3,000 to pay off our Dossier payment so we can get the court process started!

Share with friends :)

My favorite pieces are:

Greatest Gifts day #1

I'm going to do a 5 day post about the gifts we've been given.

Day #1: The Gift of infertility

Say what? How can I say this has been a blessing??? When I was a kid everyone always asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I always replied, a mom. I've wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl... It's literally the only true ambition I had outside of being a professional goalkeeper. When I was young, the dream of being a soccer player inspired me to be a better person. I wouldn't trade the hours and hours of pressure training and broken bones, ambulance rides, and tears cried over tough losses. They've made me who I am today, fearless. Now the dream of being a mom is shaping me even more. Sanding down the imperfections and building in me the ability to love our kids unconditionally because we've had to fight so hard just to bring them home.

So, when infertility struck I took it by the horns and fought. Until I realized one thing: I would rather parent a child who needs parents, then spend years trying to bring one into the world. I have come to believe God knew we would find our children through adoption and we were too stubborn to realize it so he had to slap us with a 2x4 for us to get the picture. Now that we have a face and a promise of bringing our girl home I am more confident in this then ever before. Kora was born to be our daughter and we were created to be her parents. God sets the lonely in families.

My message to all you who experience infertility is simple. Listen. Listen to that voice in you that says you have the room in your heart to love a child not of your flesh. Listen to the support you have in any decision you make. Listen to that small voice at night when you are crying yourself to sleep that there is another way! Listen, and take action. Fight for a child who needs to know what love and a family is.

So that's my blessing for today. The gift of Infertility. Without the diagnosis we would never have started our journey to Kora. We would never have seen her sweet face. We would never be able to physically experience the overwhelming feeling of God adopting us into his family. Such beauty from ashes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWHJ6-YhSYQ This is the video that I saw that truly changed my mind... I hope it impacts you in a deep way.

Blessings

Our Facebook auction is almost all prepared for. We've got people donating things from A-Z and it's beautiful the way God's providing a great sale. I have noticed in our adoption journey there are times of great happiness and times of serious frustration, but all through there intertwined with everything is the blessing we are about to receive.

Holidays are a tough time in our house, but for me especially. I long for the day when the person waking me up before dawn to open presents and eat Mercer County Grits is under the age of 18 (Kevin....). Some moments I hold it together and am truly happy, some moments I'm a complete wreck. I think this Christmas will be more moments of me holding it together than of me losing it. This Christmas I am reminded in a tangible way of just how blessed we are, by our church, friends, and family. This Christmas there is only HOPE in the future! We don't know how long it will be until Kora is home. We don't know how many Christmases it will take to have her home and waking us up before dawn. But we have hope that it WILL happen!

This Christmas as you tuck your babies in on Christmas Eve and pray with them, pray for our baby who goes to bed without knowing her mommy and daddy are here just waiting to bring her home. Pray that God will hold her close and let her know she is being loved by hundreds of people half way around the world just waiting to meet that really adorable face (have I mentioned she is crazy adorable?!?!)! Pray that the time will come QUICKLY when we get to tuck her in on Christmas Eve.

Here's how you can bless our family this Christmas:

• Donate an item for our Facebook auction (needed by December 30th)
• Take a look at the preview album of our auction HERE and see something you can't live without ;)
• Pray for us (and let us know you are, it's one of the most encouraging and uplifting things you can say)
• Consider ways YOU can help children without families this Christmas. A quick google search brings up THOUSANDS (that may be a bit of an over exaggeration) of ways to help orphans here in the USA and all over the world!

Thank you to all you who have blessed us IMMEASURABLY! There is no better way for us to thank you than for us to fight to bring our daughter home! So fight we will!

How can we bless you?